Anyway

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When I was just a girl
So innocent & sweet
No care in the world
My life then was complete

A few years went by
I’ll never forget that day
I didn’t want my daddy to leave
But he left me anyway

It was all just too complicated
I finally had enough
Of trying to figure out
All that grown up stuff

A few more years went by
They both had a wedding day
I didn’t like it then
But they did it anyway

Even more time passed
We moved to Tennessee
Things were going well
We found contentment finally

Several years went by
And then came the day
Nobody ever expected
But it happened anyway

I was in total shock
I didn’t know what to feel
It was such a tragedy
How could anyone ever heal

A couple years then passed
I seemed like I was okay
I didn’t want to smoke it
But I did it anyway

At first I felt relief
Finally it was over
No more crying, no more anger
No more looking over my shoulder

It seemed to really work
It helped me get away
I knew it wasn’t good
But I continued anyway

The next 10 years flew by
Then I was with child
I got clean for a moment
But it only lasted a short while

The doctors prescribed it to me
“I need it,” I would say
I knew it was getting bad
But I took them anyway

Fast forward 4 years later
I was knocking on death’s door
I had gotten so bad
I couldn’t feel them anymore

For months I hit my knees
To scream & cry & pray
I wanted to stop so badly
But I took them anyway

I could not understand
Why I couldn’t quit
As badly as I wanted to
I was in its grip

A few more months went by
And then came the day
I didn’t want to go
But I went anyway

I stayed there for the course
A lot of times feeling dumb
I honestly didn’t realize
What I had become

But I stayed & worked & listened
And was introduced to NA
I thought it was really silly
But I went anyway

Man! Was I so scared
To go back to that hole
Where it all started
Where the devil took my soul

But I stayed determined
And continued day by day
People said I wouldn’t make it
But I continued anyway

The first year was a blessing
Things were going really well
Then came year two
And it was a living hell

There were so many times
I wanted to throw it all away
I didn’t want to continue
But I moved forward anyway

Today I am so grateful
It’s the hardest thing I’ve done
But I wouldn’t trade any of it
Because I’m finally someone

Looking back at everything now
I wouldn’t change a day
Because it’s made me who I am
By doing it anyway