About randyjohnson

I was born in Middlesboro, Kentucky in 1971. I moved to East Tennessee in 1973 and I've lived here ever since. My hobbies are writing and drawing.

Robert Guillaume

Robert Guillaume
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I loved to watch you on Benson and you also starred on Soap.
Now you have died and it is hard for your many fans to cope.
Sadly, you perished at the age of eighty-nine.
You left a grieving family and friends behind.
You guest starred on Burke’s Law, Promised Land and 8 Simple Rules.
If somebody ever says that you had no talent, that person is a fool.
You also starred in The Meteor Man.
You were credit to black Americans.

[Dedicated to Robert Guillaume (1927-2017) who died on October 24, 2017.]

Count Dracula

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Count Dracula lives in my attic and he has a casket for a bed.
He has bitten all of my family members and they’re undead.
I’ve told many people but they don’t believe my texts.
All of my family members are vampires and I’m next.

Dracula prowls during the night and returns before sunrise.
My family prowls with him but people think I’m telling lies.
I’ve kept the vampires away so far by locking my door and wearing garlic.
They haven’t bitten me yet because they fear that I will make them sick.

I fear that sooner or later, I will be turned into a vampire.
I’ve looked online but I can’t find a monster killer to hire.
I’m sick of hiding like a coward, I’ve had all that I can take.
I found a knife and I just got done carving a wooden stake.

Dracula is pounding very hard, he’s trying to break down my door.
He has succeeded but I stabbed him through the heart and he just hit the floor.
Because Dracula was the original vampire, my family has died as well.
I feel so calm and relaxed because my life will no longer be a living hell.

Precious Plum

Precious Plum
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Her name is Plum, she’s six years old and she’s a beauty queen.
But she and her mama are two of the dumbest people I’ve ever seen.
They are so dumb that they can’t pronounce tornado.
Plum likes to eat her boogers and her mama is a hoe.
Plum has a maybe daddy and his name is Boof.
He may not be her dad, they don’t have any proof.
Plum’s mama made her fight an alligator so she could get paid.
Plum won the fight by blowing up that alligator with a grenade.
This mother and daughter are a couple of hicks who are very silly.
Plum’s mama is supposed to be a woman but I think she has a willy.
Plum’s mama is an unfit mother and should be put under arrest.
Plum is the only six year old that I’ve ever seen who has breasts.

(Based on the short videos by Collegehumor.)

The Big 7-0

The Big 7-0
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If my dad had lived, he would be the big 7-0.
On this day, Dad was born seventy years ago.
Seven decades is how long he would’ve been alive.
But leukemia killed him, Dad did not survive.
He lost his life in 2013 on the 13th of July.
Dad would be the big 7-0 if he hadn’t died.

[Dedicated to Charles F. Johnson (1947-2013) who died on July 13, 2013.]

Great Omnipotent Dude

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G-O-D should stand for Great Omnipotent Dude.
When we are born again, we are renewed.
Great Omnipotent Dude is what God is and what he’ll always be.
He is benevolent and noble and he means everything to me.
We should thank God for every day that we live.
It will please him if you’re caring and love to give.
Our prayers are something that God doesn’t ignore.
Great Omnipotent Dude is what G-O-D should stand for.

Wall of Religion

Wall of Religion
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I’m a born again Christian.
I even have a wall of religion.
Hanging on my wall is the poem ‘Footprints’.
My wall also has pictures of Jesus and The Ten Commandments.
I have a couple of other things hanging on my wall.
I like the things on my wall of religion, I like them all
The Lord has been with me through thick and thin.
I love God and his son and I dedicate my wall to them.

Orville Redenbacher

Orville Redenbacher
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People used your popcorn in popcorn poppers.
You were the one and only Orville Redenbacher.
Sadly, you died twenty-two years ago today.
Your popcorn is still being eaten and it’s here to stay.
People were sad when you died in 1995.
You’re deceased but your legacy survives.

[Dedicated to Orville Redenbacher (1907-1995) who died on September 19, 1995.]

I Hate The New Doctor Who

I Hate The New Doctor Who
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Even though I’m a fan of the classic Doctor Who,
I must say that I’m not a fan of the new.
I wanted and tried to like the new Doctor Who show,
But if people ask me if I love it, the answer will be no.
I grew up watching the Doctor Who classics.
Unlike the new, I thought those episodes were fantastic.
If other people love the new Doctor Who, that is fine and dandy.
But if it comes on my screen, I’ll lose my TV because I keep my shotgun handy.
Please don’t ask me to like the new Doctor Who or I’ll puke.
When it comes to the new Doctor Who, it’s something I rebuke.

Ol’ Yeller

Ol' Yeller
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He is my yellow kitten and his name is Ol’ Yeller.
Ten dollars was all that I was charged by his seller.
He is small and he means a lot to me.
He has a new owner, he is a lovely kitty.
When people see him, they are smitten.
Ol’ Yeller is adorable and he is my kitten.

Stacy III

Stacy III
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We went to school together and were in the same grade.
You were such a good person that you deserve a parade.
Sadly, you died twenty years ago tonight.
You died in a car wreck and that wasn’t right.

You haven’t been forgotten and I hope you never will.
People suffered because your death was a terrible ordeal.
You had charm, class and you also had wit.
You were a good person and that is something that I’m proud to admit.

When I learned about your death, it was a devastating blow.
Your family and friends loved you and we hated to see you go.
You were only twenty-five, dying at that age wasn’t fair.
We won’t forget you because your friends and family care.

[Dedicated to Stacy Brooks (1972-1997) who died on September 7, 1997.]